I will finally convince Rachel Riley that she should divorce her husband and move in with me instead.
I will fight for our NHS.
I will accept the fact that my hair isn't coming back anytime soon. I've got Alopecia and there is bugger all I can do about it. No point letting it get me down.
I will not let myself get upset If Rachel Riley won't divorce her husband. She might consider a passionate affair instead.
I must get back on the diet and go to the gym at least twice a week.
I will tweet Piers Morgan and call him a c*unt at least twice a week.
I will write a best selling novel that'll be respected by intellectuals, given rave reviews by the critics and loved by the masses. I will then sit back and wait for the offers for the film rights to come flooding in.
I must spend more time with my friends.
I will whittle down my list of candidates for first against the wall when the revolution comes. (I'm looking at you Hopkins)
I love going to gigs. I will watch as much live music as I can.
We might not like to admit it but we all judge people. I will try and judge people only by who they are and not what they are.
I know it's unlikely but if Rachel Riley just isn't interested then all you single ladies, it's your lucky day - I'm open to offers. Form an orderly queue.
I've enjoyed having a couple of months off work after being made redundant but now it's time to get a job.
When I say form a orderly queue.
Anyone?
Anyone at all?
No, seriously....
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